Disintegration

When I was fifteen I started writing a movie. It was not very good. At fifteen I didn't know much about the world (hell, at thirty-one I don't know much about the world). It was basically a woeful tale of teenage depression.

What better muse for a movie of teenage depression that The Cure. I was obsessed with the album Disintegration. I listened to on my headphones on the bus to and from school. I would rewind the tape replaying the song Disintegration over and over.

I had the whole movie mapped out as a companion to the album. It was kind of like Pink Floyd's The Wall -- except at that point I had never seen The Wall. I don't remember any of what the movie was exactly. Luckily, that and most of my writing from those years are missing. Hopefully destroyed.

(Maybe one day when I am famous someone that finds those notebooks in the attic or something will sell them on eBay for thousands of dollars.)

I listen to that album now and I feel nostalgic for that morose teenage life. It just can't affect me in the same way. I feel the sadness. The album is still fucking great. But there are things that being a jaded thirtysomething takes away.